The Break-Up: Making Decisions

How often do you break-up with yourself to live a life uncommitted to your values and priorities?

I know it sounds weird to say that we break up with ourselves. Yet if you think about how often we make choices that are out of line with what we believe about our lives and ourselves, you would think that who we are at our core is completely different than who we as we go about everyday life. Many times our behavior says to our soul: I think we should see other people.

This is a common, and even predictable, thing. I mean, making decisions is hard. Especially when you consider the way that we tend to make decisions.

When you have to make a decision, do you look at all the choices you have, and by looking at your choices, believe that you’ll be able to determine which choice yields the best results?

When you aren’t sure which option to choose, do you explore all the potential consequences of each choice, good and bad, and dream of the life possible via each path?

When you have a choice to make, do you ask advice from those that know you best, including God, seeking an insight into yourself and your purpose that might illuminate the best choice?

Does any variation of examining choices described above fit you?

Does your method work every time?

Do you sometimes find yourself in a great relationship…

Or job…

Or social setting…

Or workshop…

Or graduate program

Or church service, yet you are getting nothing out of it. It isn’t the right place for you. It could be a lovely place, or it could be hell, yet you know it isn’t the best place for you.

You begin to wonder if that other choice might have been better or even  if you should have just declined them all, and waited for the next set of options.

I’ve learned in the past year with my own dissertations, marriage, moves,  graduations and jobs that looking at choices doesn’t help you make the best choice.

Examining opportunities doesn’t reveal their benefits to your life.

The best way…

The way that relieves confusion…

The way that relieves guilt…

The way that relieves doubt

The way that relieves remorse, is to look at your core values and priorities. When you examine what you believe and how you wish to live your life and stack that up against your options, then decisions will make themselves.

Making decisions isn’t about choosing, it’s really about being committed to yourself.  So when you’ve got a big, or small, decision  to make, take yourself to your favorite place, or buy yourself a nice bottle of wine and a good meal  instead of making a pro/con list.

Not only will your choices bring you more joy, the process itself will become more joy filled as well.

Advertisements

FOCUS: The Benefits of Priorities, Passion & Purpose

Yesterday my husband and I enjoyed our 1st wedding anniversary. Since we met almost 3 years ago everything I’ve wanted in life and spent so much time and energy working toward has fallen into place. As hokey & romantic as that may sound it’s true. However, it has less to do with the magic of love and more to do with a decision I made about a year before we met, and subsequent choices that were consistent with that decision.

The decision was to FOCUS.

To get into MY zone.

To STAY into my lane.

It was more difficult for me to do than it sounds. At the time I was an advanced graduate student, an active member of a large church and one of its more active areas of ministry, a great friend, a sister & a daughter; I was someone’s girlfriend; I was a good citizen of my university and department community; I was….

I was…

I was…

I was so many things.

I was everything I needed, and as much as humanly possibly I was also what students, friends, the first lady of my church, my brother, my neighbors, the more novice graduate students in my department and at times even what the stranger on the bus needed.

It wasn’t that what those folks needed or even what I thought I needed wasn’t noble or good.

Yet much of it had little or nothing to do with my purpose

And so I was using ALL of my energy and I was completely unfulfilled. I had no joy, despite the fact that I was a good person.

I went looking for joy, using so many formulas. One of which was to make myself laugh at least 3 times a day. I mean a belly laugh, not a giggle, every day.

So one day I was watching comedy videos clips on YouTube, and a comedian I find hilarious did a routine about focusing on your dreams and staying in your lane.

And that is when I began to realize that I needed to FOCUS. I didn’t know at first what that meant, yet over the course of the next six months God presented opportunities almost every moment of every day and every choice I had I FOCUSED on three things:

1)      Priorities NOT opportunities: Everything that sounds good isn’t what’s good for you. Just as there are times that you see an outfit on a hat that look good on someone else, then you try to pull it off and it doesn’t work. It isn’t that it isn’t still a good look, it just isn’t for you. The same with that promotion or job or relationship. If you make decisions by focusing on your priorities you limit unintentionally putting yourself in mismatched or overwhelming situation and also make the decision process less confusing and agonizing.

2)      Passion NOT consistency: There were times that I would find myself committed to something I didn’t really want to do because it was something I was good at. Someone would approach me with a favor or opportunity because they knew I was good at that sort of thing. I’d also find myself passing up opportunities by hiding behind the fact that it just wasn’t the kind of thing that I was accustomed to doing or the kind of thing I was good at. Sometimes staying on message limits you, paints you into a box and allows you to hide from actual living. Choose to do those things that ignite and keep your passion lit and brightly shining.

3)      Purpose NOT platform: This essentially means that you should choose clarity over recognition. When you are faced with a decision regarding what to do with your time and energy focus on opportunities that CLEARLY line up with your purpose and communicate to the world what you believe in. Whether it’s personal or professional if health is a priority for you then make sure you are clearly communicating with your words and deeds that message. Even though that may mean turning down bigger platforms in the beginning, the clarity in your message using smaller platforms is better than confusing folks when you don’t appear passionate about what you are doing on a larger platform.

Once I began to focus on PRIORITIES, PASSION & PURPOSE the universe conspired to bring me everything I desired as if it was always there just waiting for me. Soon after applying clarifying and applying this set of ideas in my life I met my husband for the first time. Then we met again a few months after that and began dating. A few months after that I defended my dissertation proposal; five months after that we got engaged, several months after that we got married, and six months after we got married I successfully defended my completed dissertation.

Some folks would say I hit my sweet spot.

Others might say I found my groove.

I can say without a doubt that what actually happened was that I began to FOCUS. God didn’t do anything differently, I did; and tapped into my joy during the process.

What do you do to focus your life? Let me know on twitter by following @busi_B.

Showing Up vs. Being There

When I was in 3rd grade I got a certificate for perfect attendance. The irony of the situation was that on the day of the awards ceremony I was absent. That is an experience that has always stuck out in my memories of childhood. 

The thing is, we often have fuzzy moments of our lives that we recall, rather than a life full of intense and vivid memories.

I have experienced many major milestones this past year and have had several intense transitions in my life during this time as well. In just the last few months nearly a dozen folks that I admire, call examples and have looked to as role models have passed on. They were accomplished individuals, some famously so, and others simply known and revered to those who had the privilege of sharing their last name or zip code.

I heard myself saying and saw myself posting on twitter, that there must be some sort of conspiracy going on in the universe. Then as I heard and read the words over several occassions, I realized that isn’t exactly how the universe works. Death is just as common and miraculous as birth…and curiously enough so is the part in between…

The living part. 

It seems crazy, and even definitively inaccurate, to think of miracles as common things. Yet when you consider the human body and what has to be in place and in sync for us to take a breath, and that if for some reason we fail to take a breath we will fail to live, you begin to apprehend how common miracles really are.

We love to think of miracles this time of year. We love to sing of them. We love to watch movies & plays about them. We love to celebrate them.

Yet when was the last time you celebrated the miracle of your life? When was the last time you paid attention to the miracle that is your life?

If someone sat underneath a shooting star reading a book, or cursed the darkness caused by an eclipse, or failed to acknowledge their own birthday let alone the birth of a new baby, we would question their saneness. We would wonder at their lack of humanity.

Yet when was the last time you were present and reveled in the miracle that is your life?

This is what I have been doing. I have been being present.

I have been watching my dog as he walks.

I have been thinking of my students’ faces and backstories as I grade their papers.

I have been watching my husband as he washing dishes.

I have been looking at the walls I wish to paint in my apartment.

I have been riding in cars with my friends and laughing.

I have been sitting at my mother (in-laws’) kitchen table chatting & watching soaps.

I have been writing nothing down, yet remembering so much more. Being present has been the greatest gift of joy I’ve given myself in quite some time. When was the last time you recall being really present in the moment? Do you think being present always bring more joy to our lives? What are some of the ways that you bring meaning to your life?

The Reason Joy Isn’t Constant

Do you know how to cultivate compassion?

Do you know how to cultivate acceptance?

Do you know how to cultivate a better life for ALL?

I know that you think you know what my answer will be. It’ll have something to do with cultivating more joy in your life.

You’re wrong.

Compassion, acceptance and a more humane society have much more to do with those infrequent times when joy is more difficult to find than a solid first half by the Detroit Lions.

It’s been about 3 weeks or so since I’ve published a new post. I know exactly why. 

It has nothing to do with writers block.

I’ve entered one of those infrequent seasons, when joy makes itself scarce. When I stop looking in the mirror and counting my blessing. When I stop meditating and looking inside. When I stop praying and looking above…and I start looking around.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m not asking for your pity; nor is it a case of needing to be reminded of the millions of ways to cultivate joy in my life.  Neither is it one of those times when I find myself being envious.

What I’m actually experiencing is disgust, anguish, indignation, anger, sadness and fear that this is the best that we will do as humans; not because we can’t do better, yet because we are distracted, lazy and apathetic. This is one of those periods in life that are necessary. It’s one of those seasons that spark action by motivating movements and creating compassion. 

No matter what it is that you believe in or think needs to change, seasons where joy is sparse are the times when you should ask yourself…so what am I going to do about it?

There is a reason why joy is a frequent state, rather than a constant one, and it has little to do with being ungrateful and more to do with cultivating faith in ourselves in humans to cultivate more hope and less hurt.

Joy cultivates quiet peace and contentment. Yet the ways that our society operates and deals with our family, friends and neighbors doesn’t give everyone a life that makes joy easy to experience. It isn’t just about society’s that don’t have clean water or civil servants and police officers that the citizens can trust. It’s also about those that guarantee a free education that doesn’t and can’t provide the knowledge of math, science and comprehension to function adequately enough to understand your bank accounts, doctor’s advice or car insurance policy.

Have you found yourself with a little less joy lately? Were you exasperated when someone said, “Count your blessings;” or “Stop being ungrateful”?  It might not be dissatisfaction with your life. It might be a dissatisfaction with the world you live your life in; and you have just as much control over that as you do over your actual life.

What’s the one thing you will do today that will bring more joy to someone other than you? 

Mathematical Mythology

When I was a teenager, I loved math. In fact through out grade school I LOVED math. I even participated competitively in academic math competitions. My husband laughs at this fact now, as he is always more accurate in everyday situations that call for doing math in one’s head.

However, the reason I loved math was because it made me feel like I was really doing something. The love affair started with multiplication and increased with the introduction of long division and then later continued with algebra and geometry and calculus… To cover a page in numbers and apply formulas and take 3 pages to do one problem made me feel like I was really learning AND really smart!

There was a rule that I learned in math that I also applied to my life for many years.

I think I first learned it concerning fractions, then it was repeated in algebra and then later in calculus problem I did in physics & chemistry classes.

The rule is: what you do to one side you have to do to the other.

As good as that rule is for mathematics, it isn’t so go when applied to life.

When this rule is applied to life adult life it necessitates consistency. In the world of adulthood it’s a mathematical myth. Consistency has its place, just not in most equations for joy. In fact, it is often counterproductive to increasing joy.

*GASP*

I know, shocking. Ludacris! Let me explain.

Consistency can often lead to boredom. It can lead to dissatisfaction with your life that makes you feel like you are stuck in a rut. Consistency can also lead to increasing frustration related to problem solving because we remain in predictable patterns and habits that blind us to new perspectives or insights. None of this sounds joyful; it sounds frustrating.

So what is the solution to the problem created by exposing this mathematical myth?

The solution is to be responsive. Just like in math class, I’ll show you my work.

Responsive = being present = being attentive = balance = joy

Joy comes from having a balanced life. A balanced life comes from being attentive to the things that come your way; attentive to potential issues and problems so they can be confronted and dealt with quickly and completely AND attentive to opportunities that can bring positive growth and success. To be attentive calls for you to be completely present in every moment you are in, so that you don’t miss opportunities or potential problems. If you are present then you will be appropriately responsive  so that you can communicate your love, your compassion, even your indignation to right a wrong. When you can be appropriately responsive you feel joy from the satisfaction of doing so.

So it is responsiveness, the ability to do what is necessary, not consistency, the ability to do what one always does, that brings about joy.

Have you ever been frustrated by people’s predictable expectations of you? Have you ever felt like you are being the most responsible person you could be, dependable for your co-workers and loved ones, yet you aren’t happy, instead you’re frustrated?

Why don’t you stop trying to be consistent. Stop trying to indicate how much of a responsible adult you are by being the same thing, by having a predictable nature. Instead be present. Attend to the people and issues that present themselves as important. Create balance in your life through being responsive. It will most definitely increase your joy.

Follow me @busi_B on twitter and let me know how our mathematical experiment works out.

Instant Replay…

Whether you watched the Oklahoma vs. Florida State game or the Mayweather vs. Victor Ortiz fight, or interviews afterward, you were probably unknowingly grateful for instant replay this weekend. Yet frequently our minds ability to reminisce can rob us of opportunities to be joyful.

Have you ever replayed a comment or statement about yourself that someone else said over and over in your mind?

You may have difference responses when you hear it again in the recesses of your mind. You may be incredulous the first time. Then another time you may feel embarrassed. As your mind continues to ruminate you may begin to feel hurt.

Or every time you think about it, you may get angry, and yet and still, even though you didn’t think that you could, you get angrier the next time it crosses your mind.

You wonder how they could think such a thing. Even once you rationalize the logic that created the thought, you STILL wonder how they could say such a thing. AND in public, around other folks. Folks that may or may not know you well enough to understand why you feel like a pile of manure has just been dumped on you.

You think about it, and you think about it; and you try not to think about and think about it some more.

All the while they may not even remember the statement. Whether they remember it or not, however, in fact, they could care less, and they often do.

Whether it was a statement about your appearance, or your work, or some odd habit only your closest friend has (or rather, until that moment, HAD) about you penchant for flossing, it is extremely unlikely that this person sits awake at night thinking of ways to bring you down.

Friend or foe, stranger or intimate the one thing about people is that they rarely think long about things that don’t have to do with them.

How can I get this business off the ground?

What am I going to cook for dinner tonight?

What are (my) kids going to be for Halloween this year?

I need to get some gas.

I need to get a haircut.

I need to do laundry.

I need to start gathering things so we can do taxes early.

One of the sure-fire ways to find yourself at a loss for joy in your life is to get so caught up in your own thinking about yourself that you believe others are continuously thinking of you, and that those thoughts are negative.

It’s common nowadays to think such things. It was basically an inevitable social development, with most of us growing up with cartoons like Inspector Gadget, Dexter’s Laboratory & Pinky and the Brain making it popular to think that a villain is up at all times of the day & night plotting our demise. It’s no wonder that the term hater entered our common social vernacular.

However, there is one popular strain of thought that can increase your joy tremendously. It’s from writer, Olin Miller:

“You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.”

So, what do you think? Do you REALLY have any haters, or are you allowing your thoughts to steal your joy?

Share your comments & stories with me and follow me, @busi_B, on twitter.

Make the world stop spinning

Do you talk on the phone?

Let me rephrase that. Do you like to talk on the phone?

I don’t. I’m not a phone talker. I don’t like to do business on the phone. I don’t like to socialize on the phone. I prefer to not talk on the phone.  The best technological innovations for me were smart phones that allow you to text and do email on the go. I can communicate with my loved ones and folks that I work with, without being tethered to a phone or its social conventions.

Yet there are sometimes in life where you’ve got to use the phone. Some of them even bring joy. One of those situations is when you live far away from some of you most precious friends.

My family has known me for my entire life. There are only three people in my family that could ever get me to talk on the phone – my momie, my Aunt Lynette and my mother (in-law). When I was a freshman in college, my mother worked the overnight shift in an Emergency Room. I would call her at work, and as the health and well-being issues of others permitted we’d talk, sometimes several times a night.

I speak with my Aunt once or twice a week, which is quite often for my standards. She does most of the talking; I listen and intermittently ask questions that will keep her going. The conversations usually last about an hour. For me that’s a marathon.

I speak on the phone with my mother (in-law)  about once a week. Although I see her about 2 or 3 times a week, and we can talk for hours on end about any and everything, when we’re on the phone we barely make the minute mark.

One of us: Hey, Mrs. Sawyers.

The other: Hello Mrs. Sawyers.

One of us: How are you guys?

The other one: We’re good, just over her [insert some specific activity unique to this day/week about laundry, dishes, cooking]

One of us: Alright then; I was just calling to check in on ya’ll.

The other one: Okay, Love you.

The one: Alright; take care; love you too.

Who says what varies. Yet that is our 58 second telephone conversation.

I LOVE IT! She understands me and accepts me, it’s awesome!

Luckily my friends don’t pester me or get their feelings hurt by this. Most other folks in my life know of my phone issues as well, some have come to accept it over time. Most times I am grateful that they allow me to stay in my phone comfort zone. It decreases my daily dose of being annoyed; and being joyful and annoyed do not usually mix – so it’s a good thing.

This morning however, I HAD to catch up with an old friend. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in months. We had exchanged short emails to check-in. We had even sent one another various helpful articles; some were recipes, others about new research in our area, or about something that we know the other enjoys or struggles with in daily life.

But we hadn’t talked.

We now live more than an hour’s drive from one another. Grabbing a tea or connecting for lunch or the occasional dinner is nearly impossible.

She’s legally blind. My husband and I only have one vehicle. We both work. We both like to be home in our free time. She has grandchildren to help with and I have a very spoiled doggy to play with. Life is life, but we miss each other.

So last week we set a phone date; and this morning before her first client and after I’d gotten my husband fed and off to work. We talked. On. The. Phone.

As I dialed the number, I was overwhelmed. I thought I might cry when I heard her voice. But I didn’t. We both just laughed. Big Belly laughs. The youngest grandbaby, who was still cooking the last time we saw one another, is now crawling. I’ve started a new job and moved to a new community. She has a new set of interns. I’ve made it through the first 7 months of marriage. She and her husband of 30 years, experiencing a “second wind,” are engaged in the process of adoption and looking for a good fit.

Life continues. Yet this morning the world stopped spinning for 28 minutes, while I talked on the phone.

It brought me so much joy.

Not all habits are bad habits. Some things are just the way we are and our love ones accept it and us wholesale. But maybe, doing something out of the ordinary just once in a while could increase our joy.

What small thing might you do today out of the ordinary that could send your spirit through the roof?

Rock climbing…

So this week has been a little hard for a number of reasons. Getting adjusted to working again has made me a bit exhausted, and of course that leads to emotions and interactions that can be frustrating and confusing. There isn’t a formula that I know of that includes exhaustion, frustration and confusion and leads to joy.

In the midst of new classes, and dual commuting, and laundry, and meal planning, and allergies looking to find joy in your life frequently can be difficult. Yet it isn’t insurmountable. Remembering to sprinkle in things you already know work like your favorite snack and an evening nap with your significant other can definitely help. Yet they may only be short-lived pleasures.

You may need something with some more bang-pow! I know that I did!

Well not to worry (that does nothing to help with your joy). What I realized this week is that whether you treat yourself to a chocolate-coconut granola bar, or just leave the laundry on the floor, when you wake up from your nap the frustrating things are still there. Your perspective may have shifted, yet you still need motivation & energy to create a solution to forgetting to do laundry and not having clean underwear or forgetting to bring your jump drive to work that has your class handouts or lecture slides on it.

So what is the key to joy when you feel you’ve failed yourself or your loved ones and couldn’t provide what you usually provide – like clean underwear – or when you seem to be irresponsibly forgetful and let down folks who are depending on you – for me that was my students who were beginning to worry about an upcoming test?

There is no magic carpet or wand to deal with these types of frustrations joyfully. What you need in these types of situation is some grit.

YUP! Grit.

Grit = Joy

Grit brings to mind sandpaper, hard or abrasive textures or situations. It brings to mind being uncomfortable, and most folks don’t think about being uncomfortable when they think about joy. However, grit is also an adjective that describes firmness in mind or spirit. To possess an element of grittiness means that one is unyielding and courageous in the face of hardship or danger. Now that hardship might be the discomfort of that old random pair of underwear that doesn’t have any elastic in it. Or maybe the danger is letting someone down and taking a hit to the picture perfect armor we have of our identity as a spouse, friend or professional. No matter the situation, employing a bit of grit in your thinking and problem solving can help you to overcome an uncomfortable situation with a tad bit of finesse and demonstrate to your most important critic (yourself) that you are stronger than you thought, even if you aren’t perfect.

Grit = Personal Strength = Joy

Sometimes we get joy sitting in a garden with butterflies and harps; and sometimes we get joy from a sweaty climb up a 3000 ft rock. No matter the path, if joy is what you want, joy is definitely what you can have.

Instincts

Confession: Being joyful has not always come easily to me; in fact, from time to time even now my first inclination is to be analytical or honest or strong. Learning to seek joy first is a behavior I am still learning and practicing , yet it is probably the most helpful perspective I’ve learned to employ. Since it isn’t my initial inclination, the best I have been able to master is to employ it frequently.

I know, I know. My staunch church folks will remind me that the bible says that God said to “Be joyful always (in all things).” Yet that is a prescription for life that immediately quickens my anxiety and starts me to beating up on myself. Beating up on yourself  and anxiety are surefire ways to decrese your joy, not increase it. So then you end up being joyful rarely, which is definitely less desireable than being joyful frequently, even though frequently still isn’t always.

Being joyful frequently definitely releases the pressure that those of us who might be prone to some negative obbsessions and over analyzing experiences. Yet there are other benefits to seeking to find joy frequently.

For me those benefits have included  more laughter, both at myself and at life; more peace of mind, both initially and as a response to life’s craziness; and less anger, this is usually because my mind seeks to find a way to life at a situation because feeling joyful is addictive.  For someone who is described most readily as a firecracker, rather than a sweetheart, seeking to find joy more frequently in life has helped my social interactions to be less volatile and my quiet time to be less brooding. Both of which can dramatically increase your quality of life.

What is your initial inclination in life? Is it over analysis that increases anxiety that overwhelms you? Is it easy for you to remember to seek and find joy in most situations? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories, so leave a comments below and click here to follow me @busi_B on twitter.

Call Waiting & Procrastination

I live with what I’ve named, call waiting thoughts. What I mean by this is that, I will often be focusing on one line of thought, sometimes in my head and sometimes in conversation with another person, and another thought will form and demand that I attend to it immediately. The same way that the loud singular BEEP would alert you in the middle of a phone conversation that someone else is calling.

It’s an interruption that only the savviest of phone conversationalists could navigate without losing their train of thought. The same goes for when it happens to your thoughts. As of late I’m not as frequently overwhelmed by these types of thoughts. It has been a life long journey to find ways to deal with my active mind and to ferret out how it impacts my productivity.

I believe that I have been gaining success for two reasons.

1)      List making

2)      Controlled procrastination

I’ve discussed my list making and planning before, and I have a future post that I plan to devote to the “art” of list making. This post is about mainly about #2 – the idea that procrastination can be controlled and be effective for focusing and productivity.

I’ve described before how productivity is related to joy. Yet the idea that procrastination can be controlled, as well as an effective tool for creating productivity, is a bit counterintuitive. In fact, it may seem like one of those things that people tell themselves to justify something that can’t really be justified.  However, much like dynamite, using procrastination in a controlled manner is a skill that must be honed however here are the basics.

Procrastination is like nap time, free play and recess in primary school. We needed all three then and we need procrastination now. Whenever you find yourself losing focus, write down what it was that you were thinking about. No matter how random or involved the thought might be write it down. Now every 90 minutes or so take 10 minutes and pursue one of those things that are on your list.

Many times you’ll realize that the rabbit holes don’t go down very far; it usually takes less than 90 seconds to pursue most of the thoughts through to the end. Others however become more involved and end up being great pieces of creative or productivity genius. They become your next project, or your next vacation, or they lead to you solving one of your daily annoyances that decrease your joy in life.

For me the biggest lesson and source of joy that has come from this strategy is the fact that I no longer feel as if I lose so many valuable thoughts. My primary thought or conversation remains intact AND the thoughts that were demanding my attention get their due when the timing is appropriate. BONUS: my brain also gets a little play break to explore new ideas and tangents.

The second biggest lesson that I have gotten from this is the same one that I learned about actual call waiting; if it’s really important the thought will come back. What you are doing and who you are with at the moment is most important. To believe and demonstrate this makes them feel special and/or can make an uncomfortable conversation/meeting shorter and to the point.

If for some reason you can’t get to a place to write that thought down it’ll come back to you – if it needs to do so. We’ve come to believe that every thought that we have is a treasure, when sometimes it’s just a thought. When I was a teenager, I would be on the phone with my best friend and we’d be talking about clothes and dance team and boys and the call waiting would beep. We’d think it was the boy of our dreams calling, or someone for our parents, so we’d get off the phone. Then we’d click over and it would be a telemarketer. We’d be so annoyed and would end up just calling the other person back.

I’ve come to find out that the same goes with call waiting thoughts; and if I manage their ability to distract me by listing them and creating controlled instances of procrastination I increase my focus and productivity.

Do you have call waiting thoughts? Or maybe you work with or love someone who has call waiting thoughts? Is it distracting and how do you deal with them so that you aren’t frustrated? Share your stories with me in the comments and click here to follow me @busi_B on twitter; I’d love to hear from you.