The Break-Up: Making Decisions

How often do you break-up with yourself to live a life uncommitted to your values and priorities?

I know it sounds weird to say that we break up with ourselves. Yet if you think about how often we make choices that are out of line with what we believe about our lives and ourselves, you would think that who we are at our core is completely different than who we as we go about everyday life. Many times our behavior says to our soul: I think we should see other people.

This is a common, and even predictable, thing. I mean, making decisions is hard. Especially when you consider the way that we tend to make decisions.

When you have to make a decision, do you look at all the choices you have, and by looking at your choices, believe that you’ll be able to determine which choice yields the best results?

When you aren’t sure which option to choose, do you explore all the potential consequences of each choice, good and bad, and dream of the life possible via each path?

When you have a choice to make, do you ask advice from those that know you best, including God, seeking an insight into yourself and your purpose that might illuminate the best choice?

Does any variation of examining choices described above fit you?

Does your method work every time?

Do you sometimes find yourself in a great relationship…

Or job…

Or social setting…

Or workshop…

Or graduate program

Or church service, yet you are getting nothing out of it. It isn’t the right place for you. It could be a lovely place, or it could be hell, yet you know it isn’t the best place for you.

You begin to wonder if that other choice might have been better or even  if you should have just declined them all, and waited for the next set of options.

I’ve learned in the past year with my own dissertations, marriage, moves,  graduations and jobs that looking at choices doesn’t help you make the best choice.

Examining opportunities doesn’t reveal their benefits to your life.

The best way…

The way that relieves confusion…

The way that relieves guilt…

The way that relieves doubt

The way that relieves remorse, is to look at your core values and priorities. When you examine what you believe and how you wish to live your life and stack that up against your options, then decisions will make themselves.

Making decisions isn’t about choosing, it’s really about being committed to yourself.  So when you’ve got a big, or small, decision  to make, take yourself to your favorite place, or buy yourself a nice bottle of wine and a good meal  instead of making a pro/con list.

Not only will your choices bring you more joy, the process itself will become more joy filled as well.

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One thought on “The Break-Up: Making Decisions

  1. Reblogged this on Baranda Sawyers and commented:

    For many of us summertime is a little slower, or perhaps just more fun or free to work as we choose. We often have flings with ourselves, finally enjoying the things we wish we could do all year long. As the summer solstice approaches and you have a bit more daylight to see how you’d like to spend your time maybe it’s time to recommit to your first love: YOU.

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